Ten rules for dating

Chances are that if God is calling you to marriage, you will find your spouse during college.But “dating” on too many college campuses is fraught with danger if you don’t have a plan that keeps your faith and future front and center.“Someone can have a fantastic date, but when they get an email [from a dating service] with three other matches,” says Maria Avgitidis, dating coach and founder of Agape Match in Midtown, “fear of missing out takes effect.” But it’s important that everyone is up front about dating other people.“You have to be really clear on what you want,” says Lindsay Chrisler, a professional dating coach based in Hell’s Kitchen. “Everything goes down over text now, especially between millennials,” Manley says.Let the personality of the person you are meeting unfold. Put the physical attraction (or lack thereof) on hold while you explore the deeper things.A person's nervousness can mask his or her true qualities. Unless the first date is a really bad experience, go out on a second date. Outward appearances are the least accurate indicator of true love. When you feel alone and single, make your life more meaningful. Use the most precious gift an unmarried person has - your free time - to help others in your community. Tell them what you are looking for and ask them if they know of anyone for you. Leah knew that she was destined to marry the evil Esau.2 Never allow yourself to be alone in a closed room or parked car with your date. Have activities lined up so you don’t find yourself in a position or situation of idleness. Think of activities that will provide opportunities for growth in knowledge of God, each other, and self.Your dorm room is your bedroom, and it is too easy to get carried away with your date. 4 Dress appropriately for the occasion but always modestly. You just can’t go “just so far.” 9 Your soul is at stake and perhaps a happy marriage or a possible vocation. 10 The road to a chaste life is paved with prayer, the Eucharist, and the reading of the New Testament.

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“[Texting] is a great way to flirt, maybe give them a taste of who you are,” says dating coach Chrisler.It may be the fourth date before you can really see the inner person. Beauty fades, but the inner qualities improve with age for those people who are willing to refine themselves throughout a lifetime. There is no Prince or Princess Charming and happily-ever-after without effort. Volunteer your time to help families and the lonely elderly in your neighborhood. Then ask for guidance about your problems and dating decisions. Strengthen your relationship with your Creator so that your priorities are clear when you are dating. Our sages tell us that 40 days before we are born, a heavenly voice calls out for each person, "This soul, So-and-So is destined to marry that soul, So-and-So! Even if you feel you missed your destiny - don't worry. She prayed and wept and begged that her destiny be changed. Her prayers were so effective that she married Jacob first.Many successful marriages have resulted when reluctant people were willing to give the other person a second chance. "Don't touch" is the way to come closer to developing the emotional intimacy that is neccesary for a relationship to blossom into marriage. Make a rule that you won't touch for the first 30 days. 5,761 years ago, the Jews were betrothed to G-d at Mt. Practice giving as much as you can and you will be well-prepared for marriage which is all about giving. The Jewish wisdom tradition teaches us to seek a Jewish spiritual counselor who knows Torah law and lives by it. Then you will not make a mistake in your choice of whom to marry. The Torah tells us that our Matriarch, Leah's eyes were weak. I have an e-book to help you get really clear about who you are and what you're in this world to do, so that you can communicate this clearly to your soulmate.If following rules while playing the dating game seems stifling to you, instead consider the rules to be a protective measure."Dating can be very emotional," says Sherrie Schneider, co-author of The Rules series of dating advice books.